The Space Between
by KinkerBelle
Summary: Jack/Ianto. Occasional T/O, G/R Sequel ish to Six Years, Ten Months. Romance! Fighting! E-mails! A collection of stories set during the seven years caught in the time loop established in SYTM.
1. Arc One: Part One

A/N: Hello all! Yes... they weren't done with my brain apparently. This fell out steadily over the past two days. It's part one of the first arc of the in between years. Did that even make sense? Hopefully. Within the series of stand alone-ish stories taking place in those six years, ten months set up in... Six Years, Ten Months... there should be about 9 Arcs total. You'll have to have read SYTM to understand what's happening here.

In case you were wondering, yes it does make me want to die inside that fanficdotnet doesn't suport the f---ing "at" symbol. If anyone can tell me how to get it, I beg of them on hands and knees to tell me. Until then capnjack-at-torch.uk.gov and icjones-at-torch.uk.gov will have to do.

Timeline Notes **(PLEASE READ)**:

SYTM takes place almost directly after "Adam" but for the sake of the story we'll pretend that SYTM was just another episode stuck in there before "Reset" so there are spoilers for that up until "Something Borrowed" I warn you. So as a recap (possible spoiler), there's some Owen/Tosh implications and some Gwen after the honeymoon madness. And some extra angst thrown in to make it interesting! And now onto Part ONE!

* * *

Jack stood with Gwen on the upper levels of the Hub. Her wedding ring sparkled in the dim light. He stole a glance at her when she seemed to look away for a moment. He sighed and turned ahead, looking down on the activity below.

* * *

_From: Jack Harkness "capnjack-at-torch.uk.gov"_

_To: Ianto Jones "icjones-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_Subject: Tonight_

Hey stranger. Where have you been the past few days? Not that it matters, I know where you'll be tonight.

Plans?

----

_From: Ianto Jones "icjones-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_To: Jack Harkness "capnjack-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_Subject: Re: Tonight_

Yes.

----

_From: Jack Harkness "capnjack-at-torch.uk.gov"_

_To: Ianto Jones "icjones-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_Subject: Re: Tonight_

Excellent. What do you feel like doing?

----

_From: Ianto Jones "icjones-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_To: Jack Harkness "capnjack-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_Subject: Re: Tonight_

I meant I already have them, sir.

----

_From: Jack Harkness "capnjack-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_To: Ianto Jones "icjones-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_Subject: Re: Tonight_

Alright then. Tomorrow?

----

_From: Ianto Jones "icjones-at-torch.uk.gov"_

_To: Jack Harkness "capnjack-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_Subject: Re: Tonight_

No good.

----

_From: Jack Harkness "capnjack-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_To: Ianto Jones "icjones-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_Subject: Re: Tonight_

What are you up to?

----

_From: Ianto Jones "icjones-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_To: Jack Harkness "capnjack-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_Subject: Re: Tonight_

Currently trying to do my part in updating the data base with Tosh. I'm being interrupted as well.

----

_From: Jack Harkness "capnjack-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_To: Ianto Jones "icjones-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_Subject: Re: Tonight_

Touchy, touchy. I meant tonight and tomorrow, what are you doing?

----

_From: Ianto Jones "icjones-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_To: Jack Harkness "capnjack-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_Subject: To Do List_

Well,

1- Finish updating the data base without interruption

2- None of your business

----

_From: Jack Harkness "capnjack-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_To: Ianto Jones "icjones-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_Subject: Re: To Do List_

Are you mad at me, Yan?

----

_From: Ianto Jones "icjones-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_To: Jack Harkness "capnjack-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_Subject: Re: To Do List_

No comment.

* * *

Jack stared at the computer screen. Through his office window he could see Ianto sitting with Tosh at her desk, sorting through files that hadn't been uploaded unto the computer yet. Mostly, these were old, old files that weren't in the system because previous Torchwood Three teams just couldn't be bothered with files so far back. Jack had made the mistake of offhandedly mentioning the sheer number of un-cataloged files to Tosh and she became a little mad with trying to get everything on hardcopy into the system. Ianto had been recruited early on and it was a little project of theirs. 

Generally Jack just let it go on because really, it was good for Torchwood and it made the two of them happy. Just busy work, usually picked up during some down time. A pet project. But Jack took serious issue with Ianto ignoring him for dusty old files.

He hadn't seen his lover for days. Over a week, actually. It wasn't uncommon for them to spend a night or two apart, true, but never so many in a row. They had a rhythm. A nice one that was really starting to grow on Jack. Like maybe he was finally settling into this pre-determined seven year plan. Maybe he was becoming the man Ianto would say yes to. And that had a certain appeal the force of which he could barely admit in his head, let alone out loud.

It had been making him think a lot. About what he was giving up. Decisions were by their nature trade-offs. For every choice you make there is one you give up. Simple economics really. The most attractive option given up is the opportunity cost. He didn't want… certain people to be the opportunity cost. But he couldn't picture giving Ianto up.

Not to mention it could possibly skew the timeline to the point of utter chaos. That wasn't something to just forget. But that wasn't fair either. Ianto was not someone to choose just because he was the most sensible option. He was to be loved, and with all that any person had to give. Anything else would be wasting the potential of such a heart. Jack would not waste the man he considered both a lover and a friend.

If only that damned voice in the back of head would just quiet itself. Or at least come above that nagging whisper. Either one would be fine, at least then he might be able to make some sense of the mess he called his head of late. All this time away from Ianto was making him unfocused, and Jack really hated that.

He only felt truly calm lately when Ianto was about. And really, he just liked having him around. At work, yes, but infinitely more when they had some quality alone time. Given, the Team had been a little busy lately, so he'd understood the man taking a day or so off. But a week? And he was starting to get downright clipped in his e-mails. He stared in irritation at the computer screen and fired off another e-mail.

* * *

_From: Jack Harkness "capnjack-at-torch.uk.gov"_

_To: Ianto Jones "icjones-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_Subject: Fight??_

Are we in a fight now? If so, when can the make up sex commence?

----

_From: Ianto Jones "icjones-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_To: Jack Harkness "capnjack-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_Subject: Re: Fight??_

No fight, no make up sex.

----

_From: Jack Harkness "capnjack-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_To: Ianto Jones "icjones-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_Subject: Re: Fight??_

Spoil sport. Seriously, Ianto, you're ignoring me for old files? That's not right.

----

_From: Ianto Jones "icjones-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_To: Jack Harkness "capnjack-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_Subject: Re: Fight??_

Sorry, sir, but I'm not quite clear. Are you upset that I'm not blindly accepting your every advance or that I'm trying to be productive?

----

_From: Jack Harkness "capnjack-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_To: Ianto Jones "icjones-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_Subject: Re: Fight??_

You are mad at me! Why? I'm confused. You've been frosty with me all week. I don't get it. Talk to me, Yan.

----

_From: Ianto Jones "icjones-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_To: Jack Harkness "capnjack-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_Subject: Re: Fight??_

We're not fighting, Jack. I'm just having an off day. Forgive me, I just need a night or so to myself. Don't worry, tomorrow I'll be your favorite coffee serving rent boy, as always.

* * *

Jack's fingers hovered over his keyboard. He really had no idea what to say to that. There was a really, really serious problem if this was how Ianto was feeling. 

Was that part of the plan? Or was something wrong? He'd heard every couple had their off days but Jack assumed that one half of a relationship shouldn't feel like he was being used or rented. Jack had also not been one half of a couple for at least a hundred years, and even then it had been in a completely different millennium.

The captain was pretty sure that things hadn't changed that drastically though, going forward or backward, humans weren't that terribly different. It must then, have not so much been a time period problem, just an interaction problem. Jack closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. He was… rusty with relationships. He hated being rusty.

Maybe he was lucky and Ianto was just kidding, just taking it too far with that heavy sarcasm of his. Trouble was, Jack was never one hundred percent sure when Ianto was kidding or serious, even sad or just having a laugh. He was a good little actor, his lover. Maybe he'd just crossed one of Jack's lines he hadn't known was there. But something told the older man that Ianto would know where any line was. Ianto practically breathed that line between too much and too little. Jack knew this because he frequently took untold amounts of pleasure in getting Ianto to cross his own lines. The result was always… memorable. Jack had even begun to cherish those moments when Ianto pushed past his boundaries and was really and truly just Ianto. No suits and no bullshit, just himself.

Jack sighed heavily and ran his hands through his short hair. He flashed back to the last time he had been so consumed with another person… and the badness that had eventually come of it. Through the office windows he could still see Ianto and Tosh, working patiently on those files. Ianto didn't look upset in the least. But then, Ianto never looked upset when he actually was.

Jack bit his lip. As he spotted something on the table next to Ianto, he felt like a really terrible person. Because that was unfair. To do that to Ianto… Jack didn't quite know if the younger man would ever forgive him. Picking it up accidentally and thumbing through it was one thing, but seeking it out for personal gain? That was very, very naughty.

Jack's hands twitched as he literally ached for that diary. God, that was a sinful idea. A peek inside Ianto's head. Jack could hardly dream of more. But so unfair. He, who was so unwilling to part with any small bit of information that might help Ianto on the (admittedly) rocky road of being with a man like himself. It would be beyond unfair to take a peek and not provide one in return. Jack had always been a "you show me yours, I'll show you mine" kind of guy. But that was easier said than done in this case.

Jack glanced furtively at the small black book sitting on the chair by Ianto's work station. So wrong. That was just breaking so many rules Ianto had for the two of them. Unspoken ones, special ones. It hurt Jack to even consider it. But the distance was starting to worry him. And he definitely didn't want Ianto thinking that he was just some fling. Some rent boy. Jack huffed and made up his mind. He would get that damn diary if it killed him. Metaphorically.


	2. Arc One: Part Two

Part two of the first arc, it's looonngggg. Sorry. Enjoy!! Reviews are L.O.V.E.

_

* * *

_

_From: Jack Harkness "capnjack-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_To: Ianto Jones "icjones-at-torch.uk.gov", Toshiko Sato "tosh23-at-torch.uk.gov" , Owen Harper "appleaday-at-torch.uk.gov" , Gwen Cooper-Williams "gwenistops-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_Subject: Supplies_

Okay Team, we're running very low on supplies. I have task lists for everyone and no, we can't just make Ianto do it. Because one: he shouldn't have to and, two: it'll take forever with just him.

Tosh: I need you to go to the post office. Clean out the damn paperwork we've ordered that's been piling up in our name. I know Torchwood Six sent over about a hundred request of information forms and they probably could have used those sometime last week.

Owen: I need you to make the rounds with our monthly hush money checks. The Coroner's Office and Chinese delivery folks have been acting up lately as you know, so take care of that.

Ianto: The fridge needs re-stocking. You have our usual lists, you can take from petty cash to pay for it.

Gwen: Sorry, but there's always dry cleaning to be picked up and dropped off. Make the rounds to everyone and ask what's to be dropped off and get the ticket stub for our pick-ups from Ianto.

If you were wondering, I'll be handling very long conference calls to the leaders of Torchwoods One, Seven and Eight. Sorry, team but it's maintenance time. I expect you all out of here within the half hour.

Jack

* * *

A good little unit, everyone had scampered out, probably more than thankful for the break in the day's lack of activity. Jack double checked to make sure no one was about when he darted from his office and lifted Ianto's diary. 

Something about the Welshman just leaving it there, expecting it to be there in the same place when he returned, the trust involved… it made it even more difficult for Jack to finally crack the cover.

The captain even put it down, changing his mind. But then he thought of Ianto's cold e-mails, his icy refusals of Jack's bed. He'd come to feed on Ianto's warmth… he needed that back. He picked the book back up and opened it.

Ianto's hand writing was at odds with his personality, he'd written enough notes to Jack for the Captain to know that already. But he'd not really understood the beauty of an entire page filled with his loopy, messy script. The diary seemed almost lived in. Worn; in a cheerful way.

Starting at the blank, unfilled pages at the back, Jack flipped through the book until he found the most recent entry. Without reading it, he flipped back through the pages until he found a few entries dated a week back and began to read.

* * *

_**23 April**_

_Rain today, not uncommon. Rift alarm went off, team went out to the docks to check out the damage, no big mess. Just a pair of weevils. Jack and Owen rounded them up. More later._

_Came back, made coffee. Think Gwen may be either sick or pregnant (again?). She wasn't drinking her usual black coffee and cream. She went with green tea today, odd. Tosh and I took a crack at the old files, some progress was made. She and Owen have a… date (I guess you could call it) tonight. Cute._

_Caught him staring today. Wish I hadn't. Or rather, wish it wasn't at her. Told Jack no for tonight. Need to clear my head. He can't keep doing that. The staring. I know that I'd… the me that was older, said that it got better. I don't know when I'd meant it did because it bloody well isn't any better right now. If he keeps this up, I don't quite know how I'll fare. Best to stay away until then._

_Owen and Tosh went out to grab everyone's lunch. Nice change. Owen came back smiling and Tosh looked a bit flushed. Starting early? No crime there but he's never subtle is he? Even in death that man continues to astound me. Mind, I think it's mostly because of Tosh. If I were a dead man I might still live for the promise of affection. That's the human condition, isn't it? Even beyond the grave. More later._

_Gwen and Tosh went out on patrol for some weevils. We watched on CCTV. I tried not to laugh, really, but Gwen looks ridiculous when she really starts to run. _

_**24 April**_

_Bad morning. Almost slipped off the road on the way to work. Bloody rain. Got in and got a dressing down from Owen for being late and not having coffee ready. Bloody man can't even drink and he's still got to add his two cents in! Just what I need. Jack sent him off to the archives so I could get on with what I was meant to be doing though. I appreciated that. More later._

_Gwen and I caught an Althusistian foot solider today on our way back from gathering lunch. It said that it just got turned around somewhere, or at least, that's what the translator said it was saying. Jack says that they're harmless, the Althusistians. We sent it back through the rift by afternoon tea._

_Didn't catch him staring today. Of course, that doesn't mean he wasn't, just that I didn't see it. __I feel sick every time I do see it__ I'm getting paranoid, I think. I wish it wasn't a problem. But wishes aren't exactly proper currency in Torchwood, are they?_

_**25 April**_

_Nights without Jack are crap, really. Got in today and all he did was smile a bit and ask for "coffee magic". What's the use in missing someone when they don't even miss you back? Rest of the morning was crap. More later. _

_Tosh and Owen worked on the singularity scalpel today. They're really quite adorable when Owen thinks no one is watching. Thank god he'll never read what I just wrote. But it's valid. She's excited about the technology, the particles, and he's on and on about the field uses and the effect on human tissue. Caught Gwen smiling at them and can't really blame her for it. Jack looked a bit bemused but that's to be expected. He doesn't quite keep up on the day to day evolutions in Torchwood relationships. Had a chat with Gwen about that. She said she secretly suspects that if he actually experienced a moment like that he might go spare. Something that's just close. I didn't see fit to tell her that's he's like that pretty often actually. Usually after a good go round. Just light and happy, warm. I miss him. His hands, too, but mostly him. It's only been three days, counting today. Pathetic. More later._

_Gwen and I went out for drinks after work. Sometimes I like her, sometimes I don't. But to be fair it's mostly when Jack's staring at her arse that I hate her. Can't help it. But there's nothing to be done for it really. He'll stare where he wants and I can't stop him. I wish I could. Note: search archives for an alien device that either grants wishes or can direct the stare of an elusive man. More later._

_Got home, chatted with Tosh for a bit. She'd gotten home from a good date with Owen. Going to bed now. Without a Jack. Such utter crap._

_**27 April**_

_Busy start to the day. Tosh and I did a bit of heavy recon in Brecon. Crawling with little miniature aliens, like from Gulliver's Travels, only from Saturn. Literally, Saturn. We've never seen ones from so close before. Tosh and I actually had quite the time collecting them. Limber little buggers, they were. And they bit quite hard. Owen and Jack say there was no venom in the bite, just malice. Well that's fine with me. The drive there, the locating of the tribe (that had decided to start a full scale invasion of the forest nearby), the capturing and then the drive home took up most of the day. Grand time. Not._

_Came back and they were laughing together. Felt a bit out of place so I buggered off down to the archives. I wonder what they do when I'm not here. Doubt Gwen would cheat on Rhys now that they're married but she's done before and I think it goes unsaid how irresistible Jack can be. Although, with that said, five days and counting I've not been with him. Believe I may be experiencing withdrawal. Shaky hands, shortened breathe. He's invited me to his tonight, i.e. the Hub. But I don't know. Maybe it's something about the way he was staring the other day. Does he wish he'd picked her instead? Maybe. More later._

_Owen and I went on a supper run. Picked up the pizzas ourselves because the delivery boy's been a bit dodgy with the looking about lately. More later._

_Working late with Owen on some medical files. He needs to dig up some old ones and I need to help apparently. Jack's forbidden him from being alone down in the archives, he makes such a mess of them. Long Day. I just want to go home. Or to Jack. But not really the first option. Actually, if he offered right now… don't know what would happen._

_Why do I keep saying no? I should probably just get over it before he decides that he's over it and shags someone else…_

_Would he? Would he really? He might. Sometimes I don't know. Sometimes I think he and I are the only ones in the world and that he feels the same way. Then sometimes I think the seven years I'm supposed to be living are not the ones I actually am. Granted it's only been a month or two since the future me took off. Fuck. Is it possible the future me told him something to wreck the timeline? Are we really going to get better? I hope so. So far the Jack-less Experiment is really shit. I sound like a complete arsehole, but that's really what it's like without Jack. He's got a… a way about him. I miss him. But something feels not right. I think it's me._

_**29 April**_

_Fuck taxi drivers. Enough said._

_Tosh started my day off wonderfully, bless her. She actually surprised me with a cup of coffee, sweet girl. She's so much more alive these days. Ironic, considering her dead boyfriend. Maybe that's all she needed in her romantic life. A task to set her mind to. Deep in the files we've been sorting, she found something of interest. Mention of a sort of electromagnetic wrist strap. Tosh thinks it might work on the same principal as the singularity scalpel, searching out specific things and administering some sort of force. _

_From the brief description, it sounds like it might deliver an incredibly concentrated electric force to whatever it's attached to. But what's really more interesting is that the force doesn't seem to be solely electric. It might be chemical, a stimulant beyond the likes of which no one has ever discovered. Tosh crunched the numbers and it seems like it might be able to invest massive amounts of revitalizing energy into a small space. I think I know what she's thinking. And while I know it might be a wild goose hunt, we have to try, don't we? He's our friend, and he deserves that much._

_Gwen slipped in a green party dress with the Torchwood paid for dry cleaning. I've told her it's not allowed but she just smiled at me like she might at Owen or Jack when she's in trouble. I know they fall in line like trained puppies when she makes those eyes at them but I was frankly a little insulted she tried her act on me. More later._

_Team had just sat down to supper when the alarm went off. Weevil mania in the warehouse district. They went nuts over an artifact that had fallen through the rift. Sensitive ones, the weevils. Haven't cataloged it yet but it seems to be a rod with teleportation properties. There are some words or pictures (I'm not quite sure) on the outside of it. Metal, engraved. When Owen touched it his shoes were suddenly on Tosh's desk. I assume it just moves things from one place to another. Still, Jack will insist on a full scan._

_I think what's wrong is that I might love him. Seriously, it's gotten far, far out of hand. Too risky. Too risky because when I see him looking at Gwen I know he doesn't feel similarly. He's affectionate with me at best. Smiles when he should, cuddles when it's right, yes, but what if I've just assumed it's so much more? That could happen. Penny Hart in the fifth form? The ghastly Valentine? All me thinking it was more than it was. Brian at Uni? Same deal, really, except with dorm rooms involved and god how that complicated things. I hate that it really could be that way with Jack. The future me said it got better. This is not better. I miss him desperately. I want to kiss him but I know that will only complicate things further for me. Until I know he sees me as more I'll have to stay away. Seven days and counting. A night without Jack? Still crap._

_**30 April**_

_Long Day of Nothing. Nothing! No rift activity, no paperwork to be filed. Just a long day of having to stare at Jack while he tries to lure me back to bed. I refuse to be tempted. I'm helping Tosh with her old files god dammit. _

_Jack sent off a rash of e-mails. He's really—

* * *

_

"While the cat's away the mouse will read his diary? Never heard that one before, Jack." Gwen was looking practically thunderous as she snatched Ianto's diary out of Jack's hands.

He'd been so completely absorbed in reading, he hadn't heard her come back. Jack had no doubt he looked as stunned as he felt. He really, really hadn't expected to be caught at that. He could really only be thankful it hadn't been Ianto himself.

"I don't really have an excuse." He said after a moment. That was sure as hell the truth. His brain could barely function, spinning under the weight of what he'd gleaned from Ianto's diary. Like Pandora, he'd opened the box on a whim and hadn't been prepared for what came pouring out. Gwen shook her head and made a disapproving noise.

"That's just as well. Nothing you could have said would justify it. He trusts you, Jack! Never had a second thought about leaving his diary in the Hub with you because he had the faith that you wouldn't do something like that."

Jack sighed. Gwen and her speeches. He already knew it was wrong. And his head was heavy and his heart was pounding and suddenly, he didn't know why he'd been staring at her that day. Her wedding ring had given him that odd disappointment he got when looking at her sometimes these days. And Ianto had seen. And he'd been hurt by it. Yet another case of stupid, stupid Jack forgetting that Ianto saw everything, whether he wanted to or not. Jack had long since committed himself to making sure Ianto was not actually as invisible as he sometimes felt, but in that one selfish, maudlin minute he'd hurt his beautiful, beautiful friend. Stupid. There was no other word.

The captain looked at his former love interest with sad eyes and knew the she was not the opportunity cost. Something odd passed between them. They were simultaneously re-seeing each other for the first time since her wedding. As she saw the well of emotion inside him so obsessed with Ianto that he would be driven to this, he saw in her a passionate devotion to honesty, forged anew by Rhys. He tried to ignore the overpowering ache that echoed in his chest cavity when he realized that his little voice had not been talking about Gwen at all.

All along, it had been telling him that Ianto wasn't an option to choose from, because he was the only option. His only real shot at loving someone. The only person in all of time and space who could well and truly handle him and rekindle that flame that Jack had let die out so long ago. That was the potential of Ianto's amazing heart. To bring a dead man back to life. He needed no resurrection glove, only his warm eyes and a kiss.

Jack felt like ten times the imbecile he had before for betraying his lover's trust so thoroughly. Though… he couldn't really bring himself to want to undue it. He wouldn't ret-con this out of himself for the whole galaxy.

"I know. And there's no excuse for it, as I just said. But I can't take it back now. So where do we stand?"

Gwen looked at him with hard eyes. She was not pleased. He stared back. He could match her ounce for ounce with stubbornness. After a pointedly long moment Gwen pursed her lips in thought and raised an eyebrow.

"I won't tell him when he comes back."

Jack sighed. "Thank you."

"But mark my words Jack Harkness, you will tell him in the next twenty-four hours or I will."

Jack clenched his jaw. She drove a hard bargain. "Done."

They shook hands on it and Gwen placed the diary back where it had been found before they parted ways.

* * *

Ianto arrived back at the Hub last. The line at the grocery store had been murder. As the invisible lift slowly descended down into the Hub (his arms were simply too full for the actual entrance) he saw the haggard team all laying about looking utterly spent. Ianto hid his smug expression. Bit harder than you thought, then? Maybe not just something anyone could do day in and day out? Suddenly glad that you have different duties? Fancy that. It tickled him a bit that they'd all had easier tasks than him as well. 

It was a little known fact that grocery shopping mid afternoon in Cardiff was not a pretty scene. Ianto suddenly understood why Jack had given him the hardest task of all. None of the others really had the patience to wait on a cue that long or browse for exactly the right items for the best price. It brought a smile to his face that he resolutely pretended was not because of his boss.

The lift landed and Ianto hurried over to the fridge, not expecting the help that never came. He'd handled more groceries than this before. Slowly but surely, the refrigerator filled back up with everyone's favorites and Ianto stored the bags the groceries had come in under the sink in case they had need of them in the future. Ianto's comfy new desk chair beckoned to him and who was he to deny it?

With a heartfelt groan he sat down and relaxed into the soft cushion of the chair and let his head loll back on the neck rest. Nice chair. Absent mindedly, Ianto scooted closer to the computer before him and started to check his e-mail. One cute joke from Tosh, one side note about the singularity scalpel from Owen. One new from Jack. Ianto resisted for a full five seconds before opening it.

_From: Jack Harkness "capnjack-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_To: Ianto Jones "icjones-at-torch.uk.gov" _

_Subject: Re: Fight??_

Watch it, Mr. Jones, that's my boyfriend you're talking about! And quite seriously, Yan, if you ever call yourself a rent boy again, we really will be in a fight. You're not trade, a prostitute, a rent boy, hooker or booty call. None of the aforementioned terms are acceptable in reference to yourself. That's an order, are we clear?

Stay away another night if you need it, but I would really like to see you tonight. Please.

(If questioned, I will deny ever using that last word.)

----

Ianto's heart had completely tripled its speed. The complete jackass (no pun intended) had cracked the damn code. He'd broken the famous Jones will. Ianto didn't care if it confused him until the end of time. He had to see Jack tonight. Had to.

* * *

Night set in. Jack had disappeared for several hours only to appear back and disappear into his office. Tosh and Owen ducked out early, which Ianto watched Jack allow with a smile. Gwen stayed until all her paperwork was finished, like a good girl, and then practically did a runner for the door. When the last of her footsteps echoed their way into silence, Jack finally emerged from his office, wandering down to where Ianto was still toiling away at his computer. 

Jack laid his hands on Ianto's shoulders, sighing heavily. Just to feel him solidly under his hands once more was remarkable. Ianto eased into Jack, pressing himself back into his hands. For no reason other than it seemed like the best idea at the time, Jack started to massage Ianto's shoulders. This was not the first time he'd done so but it was the first time they still had all their clothes on. He still made those absolutely wicked groans though. Jack had heard a lot of accents make a lot of noises in his time but he'd never been as utterly affected as anything as he was by Ianto's. He was so gone for him, it was actually a little un-nerving.

Jack's hands traveled up onto Ianto's neck, rubbing more there because he knew that's where most of the Welshman's stress built up. Within minutes, Ianto was putty in his hands, loose and relaxed. Jack smiled, that was a good start. He leaned down to whisper in his ear.

"Staying the night, then?"

Ianto shrugged, still lazy. "Perhaps."

Jack chuckled. "Well allow me to convince you it's worth the time and effort Mr. Jones."

Ianto smiled. Jack didn't have a choice but to smile back. Gut reaction. "That sounds… appealing."

They both bust into laughter. Ianto rose from his chair and turned to face Jack, who took his hand. Ianto stared at their joined hands with openly thoughtful eyes. He was analyzing. Jack hoped the conclusion was favorable. Apparently it was because Ianto granted him a warm smile. The feeling was something akin to walking out into the summer sun after spending an inordinate amount of time in a meat locker.

Jack got the ache again, that bone deep pulse that flipped his stomach and burned in the best way. Instead of writing it off as lust, he stopped to try and embrace it. He let himself say (if only to himself): _It feels so right because it is_.

* * *

The night air was chilly, but Ianto wasn't thinking about that. He was thinking about the table Jack had arranged on the roof, the comfortably plush loveseat that they'd sat on (which Ianto had no idea how the Captain had managed to get onto the roof) and the remarkably delicious dinner they'd just had. The soft music floating out of his Captain's wrist band was slow, creating the gentle, rocking rhythm that Jack was dancing with him to. It was an old song. Jack was fiddling about with the lyrics to make Ianto smile. 

"Me and Mr. Jones…. we got a thing going on. We both know that it's wrong. But it's much too strong, to let it go now…" Jack trailed off.

He rested his cheek against Ianto's and inhaled, which made the younger man shiver. After a moment, Jack spoke. "I have a confession. Many actually. And in advance, I'm sorry."

Ianto chuckled at his dreariness. The words meant a serious chat and Ianto well knew that. But the night had been lovely so far and he was just reluctant for that to change. He also knew that this was probably Jack's intention, but he really couldn't be bothered with caring. No one did romance quite like Jack. He'd damn well enjoy that while he could.

"Well that doesn't bode well."

"No, sorry."

"Quite alright. Shall we sit or keep swaying?"

"Hard to say. I don't know whether I want to keep holding you or look you in the eye."

"I believe that's what couches are for, Jack."

Jack laughed. "And brainy too, I knew there was a reason I liked you."

"Well let's not forget my stunning good looks."

"Perish the thought." They laughed and half danced their way over to the couch. Once seated Ianto curled up under Jack's arm and patiently awaited these supposed confessions.

"First: I'm an asshole."

Ianto laughed with the shock of what his lover had just said. Well… true… but why the statement? "Any particular reason?"

Jack sighed, looking tired. "Many."

"Do tell."

Jack closed his eyes as if expecting a harsh impact. "I read your diary."

Ianto stilled, his jaw dropping completely open. His hands began to shake. "How… how much of it?"

"The um, the last week or so."

Ianto closed his eyes. Felt the bile worming its way up his throat. His palms started to sweat. Breathe shortened, scattered thoughts. Panic, panic, panic. Never in his life had he been so utterly, completely and thoroughly embarrassed. He could feel that horrible tell tale rush of deeply ashamed blood flooding his cheeks. And why did he have to blush? God! A mocking acid felt as if had been poured into his stomach. Caught.

Caught and bared before Jack. He always did this to him, always in one way or another, always! Cut him open and just left him that way. Raw and exposed. With his guts on the floor to be examined and catalogued. Naked. He always felt so exquisitely, painfully naked around Jack, despite the amount of clothes he had on. He knew he was shaking. Ruthlessly, the embarrassment's acid spread upward, into his throat and lastly behind his eyes. He felt the sting of tears that could only come from a shame so utterly deep as this.

Jack knew he was falling in love with him. Knew his most desperate wishes to be more than just his dabbling coffee boy. He felt sick with how much Jack knew. His breathing quickened further and while in a distant way he knew that Jack was apologizing profusely, he couldn't actually hear it. Couldn't make sense of the words. All he could make sense of was the utter despair he felt at being so terribly exposed. Being made to feel ashamed and guilty that he so badly wanted more from Jack.

And when the tears threatened to spill over for real, Ianto got mad. So, blindingly mad his fists unconsciously balled up. Ready to strike at jack on any available surface. How dare he! How could Jack ever even have the thought, elt alone the bloody stones to open his diary and read it?! The quakes rocking his body weren't of panic anymore, they were of fury. Fury that he had unwillingly laid all his cards on the table and he still knew nothing of Jack's hand.

Well, after a moment it occurred to Ianto that that was rubbish really. And that as awful as what Jack had done was, it was actually quite useful. He'd given Ianto the opportunity to nail him down and ask the question that had been burning him up since their very first kiss. When he cut through Jack's endless apologies, his voice was soft. Shaken but clear.

"What are we? What do you want us to be? Don't avoid me Jack. I don't… I damn sure don't deserve that. You know how I feel. Wrong as how you found out may be, you still know. So either you tell me right now what you thought of what I wrote or I…" Ianto sighed in a shaky way, hating very deeply what he had to say. "I just won't be able to stay."

For the first time since the proverbial bomb had been dropped, Ianto looked Jack in the eye. His captain looked about as lost and shaken as Ianto did. Again, this didn't bode well. Jack's jaw worked soundlessly for several moments. Ianto did sympathize with Jack a little. There were many, many things for them to say to each other, all of them too big for mouth and lips and teeth and tongue. But eventually, Ianto saw some wall inside his lover crack and the words came forth in a flood.

"I hate myself for making you feel that way. I haven't felt anything so strong as real, bone deep self hatred in a very long time and it's fucking weird, let me tell you. I forgot that I felt that deeply. When you… ugh, this is fucking awkward to describe. When you can't die, you stop feeling everything. Feeling everything, every minute of every day in every year, it'll drive you crazy in one lifetime. Let alone multiple ones.

"I'm rusty at this, this feeling so much for one person. But I do, regardless of how useless I appear to be at it. I do feel **so** much for you. What it is precisely, it's hard to label, but it's strong enough to remind me of the last time I was well and truly, madly, deeply in love with someone.

"I don't know many things about what your diary made me feel, but I do know a couple. I know that I'm an idiot who forgets how good he's got it with someone like you. I know that if you let me I'm going to grab onto you and never let go. I know I could love the hell out of you if you'd just let me remember how. Please. I'm not the best option for a boyfriend, I know. I'm rash and I make a lot of bad calls and not all of them are reparable. Cite: reading someone's diary in an effort to get closer to them. I fuck up a lot. But god, could I love you."

Jack was panting heavily by the time he had finished, looking so desperately at Ianto, that the younger man couldn't quite believe his eyes. He seriously considered pinching himself to ascertain that he wasn't dreaming. In the end, two things stopped him. One: if he wasn't dreaming than he'd look like a spectacular prat, because really, who actually pinched themselves? Prats, that's who. And two: If he was dreaming, there was no way in hell he was going to be stupid enough to wake himself from it. Because this was the best damn dream he'd ever had.

He actually decided fairly quickly what he would say in return. But Jack deserved some serious punishment for what he'd done. For what he was constantly doing. So, in a possibly evil way, Ianto let him dangle. For many minutes, maybe even ten, Ianto just stared at Jack, usefully blank expression firmly set. He watched with well concealed avid interest as Jack stared pleadingly at him, begging with his eyes for Ianto to just say something already. Well, tough shit. Fair is fair. Ianto sighed, averting his eyes from Jack's and shaking his head.

He felt all the air slump out of Jack. Could feel the hurt radiating off him. Ianto took Jack's hand in his and made eye contact once more. "Yes, please." He said earnestly.

Jack's eyes widened almost comically. "You're… you're saying yes then? To the us?"

"I'm saying yes to the us, regardless of the appalling grammar involved." Jack stared at him with something indefinable shining in his eyes, something akin to fire in its purity.

His Captain laughed and swooped forward, kissing him. A week's worth of contact denied and an eternity of waiting for someone to love was poured from Jack's lips to Ianto's. Soft friction of mouth on mouth. Hearts simultaneously beating harder and faster. Tender give and take, the gentle ply of a long awaited kiss. Jack had waited longer than he'd known for a man like Ianto to kiss. For Ianto's kiss. The only kiss able to bring that small candle in him back to life. That spark in the darkness Jack had grown to believe was only myth and legend. But no more. It was here, swimming in his veins, thrumming under his skin. Groaning beneath him. His spark, his hope, his Ianto.

Jack tore himself away because he couldn't breathe, couldn't breathe for how hard his heart was hammering and his blood was burning him from the inside out. It hurt to adore so fiercely. Ianto looked just as scorched. Beauty might be nothing without suffering, he'd told Owen as much. But in that moment Jack realized they were two sides of the same coin. Opposite as can be but still holding that common core. Without feeling so dead for so long, he could never know how truly vast the depth of what this man meant to him was.

Jack slumped towards Ianto, resting his forehead against his. Their eyes fluttered closed in the bliss of being close once more, their panting breathes mingling together in the tiny space between their mouths. "So what are we?" Ianto finally asked, Jack could feel the rumble of it all the way down to the tips of his booted toes.

The older man smiled. "We're lovers. Friends. Boyfriends, I guess. Not casual. Exclusive, I assume. Co-workers. Boss and employee. You know I hate labels."

"And you know I don't. I live my life in labels, Jack. I'm a bloody archivist. For once make it easy on me, yeah? Give me a name to redefine, okay?"

Jack smiled ironically. Gwen might drive hard bargains but Ianto drove harder ones. Secretly, it made him a bit weak in the knees. "We're… partners I guess. Two people who know they're about to fall in love, trying to fall together."

Ianto rolled his eyes and poked Jack hard in the ribs. "A legitimately usable title, if you please."

Jack laughed joyfully. "Boyfriends, then. A couple. Serious. "

Ianto exhaled. Jack felt the relief in the breathe travel the small space between them and sink into his skin. "Thank you."

Jack placed a light kiss at the corner of Ianto's mouth. "Honestly, at this point I'd confess to murder if it meant another taste of you." Ianto laughed, a more beautiful sound would have been hard to find for Jack.

"Would you admit you have manipulative powers over measuring tapes?"

Jack boomed with laughter in response. "Might be, might be."

Ianto grinned and kissed him, eager as Jack for a taste of this newness between them, this clean slate. Jack pulled away licking his lips and giving Ianto a look that would probably set a lesser man on fire. "Bed now?"

Ianto kissed him passionately, reaching up to thread his fingers into Jack's hair, then pulled back quickly. "Not just yet."

Jack groaned. "What else? God, anything to feel you again."

"We should really tell the others."

"Done."

"And move some stuff of yours over to mine."

"Done and done."

"And get that new espresso machine I saw last week."

"I'm horny and aching for you, not a moron."

"Just seeing if you're paying proper attention to detail."

"Baby, I'll show you attention to detail if that's what you're looking for."

"Yes. Please."

* * *

_**3 May**_

_Mornings with Jack prove to be infinitely more bearable than those without. Well, in terms of a face to wake up to and arms to wake up in. He's a bit crankier than normal in the earlier hours. That's solved easily with some coffee though. _

_Arrived at work with Jack, first ones in. Tosh came through next, with the address of a reportedly excellent new pastry shop. We waited for Gwen and then Owen to get in and then we all walked over to see if we liked it. Group report says that we do. Tosh favors the éclairs, Owen's quite keen on the blueberry scones, Jack's practically in love with the apple tart and Gwen feels quite the same about the lemon Danish. Arrived back to a rift alert. More later._

_Not a lot of activity as it turns out. Just a bit of a hiccough down on the other side of the bay. No weevils drawn out there, nothing fell through. When we got back Tosh and I took another chunk out of the un-archived files. One more mention of Tosh's new obsession, the as yet unfound energy beam. Wonder if it's still in the archives. To actually look for it though we'd have to dig far enough back to find it's original file to find it's location and that seems to be as old as Torchwood Three itself. Another day, another few files. I know she'll get there._

_Lunch was delivered by a new pizza boy, one that's pretty oblivious to anything other than the constant buzz of his ear phones. All seems to be in order on that front. More later._

_Others are leaving shortly. Tosh and Owen have another date. Or, at least, they're going back to Tosh's place to watch a movie or something. Still cute. Gwen's been looking at me funny for a few days. A little bit of jealousy, maybe, but not quite that. Or perhaps, not only that. I won't pretend that it's actually moderately satisfying to have… if effect, anyway, pretty much… won. Let's just say it. _

_Going back to mine with Jack again tonight. My bed's bigger after all. And he does love some space to work with. Not that I don't enjoy what he does with it every time. Man's a bloody genius. Well, that's enough said on that. More later._


End file.
